it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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