I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ugly people sure do ruin things
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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