He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
