We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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