dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
