Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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