Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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