turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
