I think scott just propositioned me for sex
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
