I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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