I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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