how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
