I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
