Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
