Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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