dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
