chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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