I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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