If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
