I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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