he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
