i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
