Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
