Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
