best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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