Michael Bay diarrhea
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
