how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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