i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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