I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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