she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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