also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I love how my cats smell like pot.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
