I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
