Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
there is glitter all over my balls
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize