I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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