Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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