Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
