i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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