I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
