My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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