God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I pour the whiskey from now on
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
