Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
