worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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