I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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