i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
