Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
