I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
