She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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