my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize