remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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