how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
