His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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