If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i dont even know how to be here
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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