You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
