there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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