doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
