Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
