Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
