You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
